Realisation

MAY 07
Love meant to me as life,togetherness,exchanging feelings,unnecessary talks,a sensation but love can give so much pain was unknown to me.Its such intense,unbearable tht sometimes i feel like jumping from the rooftop,slitting my hand,having sleeping pills,but i know till death comes andembraces me,i wont die.
I agree u were my world,and when u left me it broke me into pieces but i realised how much i had learnt and how much more i deserved.I am a stronger person for it today.My world was shattered when i found out tht the guy i had fallen in love with was not the one he says he was.It was even more painful when i learned tht everything was a lie.But i will never become the person i am today widout it.I realised my hidden potentials.I admit it still hurts to look back but now i know tht i was meant for him and he was meant to break my heart,and in a way teach me the hardest thing to do in life and tht is letting go.
I loved u wid all my heart,was ready to compromise on anything u asked,which u knew all the way long.But i really wish tht wenever u told me i love u,u meant it.I jus wish u had told me the truth.Anyways i am happy tht u r not in my life anymore.I know one day i might jus fall in love again and hopefully thtperson wont be like u.I know i will move on wid my life again.I dont know y i even think bout u.But ill still cherish those very few moments of life u gave me.
I'll still love u so much,but hate u too.And i jus cant forgive u for the pain u gave me jus to break me off.
I have been lied to all the time.all the joys we shared were plastic and no matter how much i tried to be the better person,he had to leave me,maybe his desires of a relationship were much much different.